Disclaimer: he was hot. I was bored. I may have also been drunk OkCupiding.
Dude: Hello there
Dude: You like kissing huh?
Me: Oh, hi! Duh, who doesn't like kissing? Oh I know, assholes.
Dude: Hahaha hello cutie. Yes. One day lets kiss then cutie
Me: What, no foreplay? Is cuddling negotiable?
Dude: Oh don't worry lots of foreplay and cuddling
Me: How many pillows? How many blankets? Socks or no socks? It is goddamn cold.
Dude: Lots of both plus lots of nakedness
Me: Oh my! I like your messages, keep them coming (NOTE: this is where I am mistaken)
Dude: I like your face and wanna see you naked. Hump you hard.
Dude: 5555555555. Text me a sexy pic girl
Me: [texts a photo of cats, in space, with pizza]