So I've received a lot of concerned comments from friends since I started the Undateable series of posts.
It is a joke.
Yesterday, an especially sweet friend chided me, telling me I am rather, actually, "exclusively dateable."
Let's clear the air: I'm not fishing for compliments. I'm not filled with despair or low self-esteem. I'm not doomed to never date again (should I ever choose to, my choice!).
I will illustrate how I mean this, with a real world example. I actually had this dilemma yesterday.
You realize the outfit you want to wear calls for two pairs of hands to get dressed. A roommate or significant other to ask, "Hey! Can you help me zip this?"
You get it half zipped. You're stuck.
A. Burst into tears while yanking the dress back over your head, breaking the zipper, opting for a different option better suited for your spinsterhood.
B. Shrug, throw on a cardigan, planning on pulling a friend into the ladies' room to help you out once at the office.
C. Think about it for a moment, breathe, remember you are flexible enough through your shoulders and calmly zip that shit yourself.
My answer is C.
I'm not undateable in that I am a horrible, annoying, intolerable person by any means. I'm "undateable" in that I am too independent. Assertive. Confident. Ambitious. Outspoken. And generally intimidating.
I solve my own problems. I will never be a damsel in distress.
Essentially, I would make one hell of a bachelor.