So I've received a lot of concerned comments from friends since I started the Undateable series of posts.
It is a joke.
Yesterday, an especially sweet friend chided me, telling me I am rather, actually, "exclusively dateable."
Let's clear the air: I'm not fishing for compliments. I'm not filled with despair or low self-esteem. I'm not doomed to never date again (should I ever choose to, my choice!).
I will illustrate how I mean this, with a real world example. I actually had this dilemma yesterday.
You realize the outfit you want to wear calls for two pairs of hands to get dressed. A roommate or significant other to ask, "Hey! Can you help me zip this?"
You get it half zipped. You're stuck.
Do you:
A. Burst into tears while yanking the dress back over your head, breaking the zipper, opting for a different option better suited for your spinsterhood.
B. Shrug, throw on a cardigan, planning on pulling a friend into the ladies' room to help you out once at the office.
C. Think about it for a moment, breathe, remember you are flexible enough through your shoulders and calmly zip that shit yourself.
My answer is C.
I'm not undateable in that I am a horrible, annoying, intolerable person by any means. I'm "undateable" in that I am too independent. Assertive. Confident. Ambitious. Outspoken. And generally intimidating.
I solve my own problems. I will never be a damsel in distress.
Essentially, I would make one hell of a bachelor.
